Weddings - Written by Jaime on Saturday, August 30, 2008 10:36 - 0 Comments
Wedding Etiquette: Invitations
The Knot is giving us etiquette advice on wedding invites. Invitations set the tone for your wedding and it is so important that each bride know the proper way to invite people. You don’t want to step on any toes so close to your wedding!
Q. How far in advance should you send invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?
A. Ideally, invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding — that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier — say three weeks before the wedding date — so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you’ll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins. At the very latest, guests should receive invitations six weeks in advance, and you should get responses back two weeks before the big day.
Q. We’re in a tizzy over announcements versus invitations. The groom grew up in a very small town 2,000 miles away from the wedding city. We’re afraid that feelings will be hurt if we don’t invite everyone from his hometown, but we know the trip will be impossible for 95 percent of them. Help!
A. Even if you’re pretty sure certain guests won’t be able to attend the wedding, it’s a nice gesture to invite them — who knows, they might decide to attend. And if not, they’ll feel good knowing that they were invited. Announcements should be used to let friends, family, and possibly professional colleagues who were not invited to the wedding for whatever reason — budget constraints, etc. — know that the wedding took place. Invitations are sent to those people whom the families want at the wedding. Let the recipients decide on their own whether they can attend or not. If you’re right and most of them can’t come, you might consider having a second reception or party in the groom’s hometown after the couple returns from their honeymoon.
Proper Wording
Q. We are paying for our own wedding, and both of the families are giving us some money to help. We would like our invitation to show that both sets of parents (with their names mentioned) along with the bride and groom are hosting the wedding. Is there a way to word this?
A. There’s a way to properly word anything.
Try this:
Tina Maria Smith
and
John Michael Douglass
together with their parents
Barbara and Robert Smith
and
Bob and Jane Douglass
request the honor of your presence
This wording suggests that you two are hosting in conjunction with your parents. Also, keep in mind that “hosting” can have flexible meaning. Parents can be official hosts — they planned the party, they invited the guests, they paid — or honorary hosts.
Q. I am coordinating a friend’s wedding and have been asked to do the wording for her invitations. She and her fiance are sponsoring their own wedding, but both want to honor their parents. The bride’s mother is deceased; however, she wants her mother’s name to appear on the invitation. What is the proper way to do this? Is it proper to mention a deceased parent in this way?
A. The invitation is issued by those who are hosting the wedding — someone who has passed away unfortunately can’t do so. Perhaps you can suggest that she write a tribute to her mom to include in her ceremony program. Or maybe a candle is lit for her, her favorite song is played, or her favorite piece of scripture is read, and the significance is noted in the program. The bride may even want to give a toast at the reception, during which she remembers her mother. Try to explain to her that including her mom’s name on the invite will seem awkward to guests; it’s better to remember her mother on the occasion of the wedding, when the gesture will seem beautiful and moving, instead.
As for honoring parents on the invitation (assuming her dad is still alive), you might suggest this:
Jane Marie Darling
and
John Michael Rooney
together with their parents
This way, all the parents are honored (you could even argue that the spirit of mom is included in that simple sentence), but you don’t get into specifics.
Q. We are having a Saturday afternoon reception that includes a cocktail hour and a full dinner. How do I let guests know that it’s not just an afternoon informal brunch? I would like it to be formal attire but not black tie.
A. One of the best ways to let guests in on the fact that the wedding is formal is with the invitations. Get ultra-formal, traditional ones — on white, ivory, or ecru paper, with the wording done in black script, maybe even with a gold or silver border — and that should do the trick. Give your guests the benefit of the doubt, too — if they receive a formal invite from you and read where your wedding is being held, you can probably trust them to dress appropriately.
Q. We are getting married at a local hotel located on the beach. The ceremony will be held outside, with the reception following in a banquet room inside. It seems almost silly to have a separate reception card with the same location, but I have no idea how to put it all on the wedding invitation. Any ideas?
A. All you have to do is add a single line to the bottom of your ceremony invitation: “Reception to follow.” It’s invitation parlance for “The reception is in the same place.” Just make sure your ushers know where to direct guests after the ceremony, so they’re all taking the most convenient route to the reception area.
Addressing the Invite
Q. Do couples who live together but aren’t married receive a single invitation or separate invitations?
A.Unmarried couples who live together receive a single invitation because they are a couple. Address it the same way you’d address the invitation of a married couple with different last names — alphabetically, on separate lines on the outer envelope:
Ms. Janine Myers
Mr. Richard Stevenson
The inner envelope would read:
Ms. Myers and Mr. Stevenson
or
Janine & Richard
Q. How should you address an invitation to a widow? What about a divorced woman who has retained her married name? And what about those who are bringing significant others who do not live with them? Can I send just one invitation or do I have to send one to each of them?
A. A widow is traditionally addressed as “Mrs. John Jones,” but if you feel the guest may not want to be addressed that way, it’s totally okay to ask her how she prefers to be addressed. A divorced woman who has kept her married name should be addressed as you suggested — “Ms. Jane Johnson.” As far as a couple who does not live together, technically you should send each their own invitation, but it’s not horrible to simply send the invite to one of them — say, the person you’re closer to — with both names listed alphabetically (each on its own line) on the outer envelope.
Q. How do you address an invitation to a married couple, both of whom are doctors?
A. If a wife and husband are both doctors, the outer and inner envelopes should be addressed to: “The Doctors Rosenthal.” It’s that simple! If they’re married, but have different last names, list both names, in alphabetical order (on separate lines): “Dr. Rosenthal” and on the next line, “Dr. Schwartz”.
Q. What if the woman is a doctor and the man is not? Does the woman’s name come first because of her title?
A. Yes, the spouse with the professional title is listed first. Outer envelope: “Dr. Kate Randolph Mr. Brian Randolph.” Or, “Dr. Kate Randolph and Mr. Brian Randolph” (if it fits on one line). The inner envelope would read: “Dr. Randolph and Mr. Randolph” or “Dr. and Mr. Randolph.”
Q. How do I address an invitation envelope to a lesbian couple? I want to invite my sister and her partner, who had an exchange of vows ceremony a few years ago, where my sister took her partner’s last name.
A. You have a couple of options, depending on how formally you want to address the envelopes. Because you won’t be saying “Mr. and Mrs.”, for a formal invite you’ll probably want to address it this way: “Ms. Joan McDermott Ms. Theresa McDermott.” This way, you’re not saying “Ms. and Ms.”, which would sound awkward. Joan comes before Theresa alphabetically. Another option, if you don’t want to use titles or put the two on separate lines, since they are, in effect, married: “Joan and Theresa McDermott.” No matter which way you address the outer envelope, the inner envelope should read: “The McDermotts.”
Q. We’re having a small wedding. Do we have to invite Mr. Smith “and Guest”? One friend told me that if a guest is not seriously dating someone, I can just address the invite to Mr. Smith, and he’ll know he’s not supposed to invite someone. Is that true? What do I do if such guests reply for two anyway?
A. Most guests will understand that without “and Guest” or another name on the invitation, it’s meant for them alone. Especially if you are having a small wedding, you probably aren’t going to invite everyone to bring an escort, unless it’s a fiance(e) and/or a serious significant other. Technically, you’re never supposed to write “and Guest”; instead, you should find out the name of the significant other. What to do if some clueless souls reply for two? Call them up and explain that you’re having an intimate wedding and, unfortunately, you were not able to invite everyone with a guest. They should understand that.
Q. Is it improper to have the outside envelope addresses printed in a fancy font on the printer, or should they be handwritten?
A. Some will say a font that looks amazingly like cursive writing is acceptable, but we don’t necessarily agree. Etiquette does say that you should never print addresses with a computer, but always handwrite them. Remember, a wedding is an extremely intimate and personal event, and your invitations should reflect that. If it’s a matter of time — or you’ve got 500 invitations to address — enlist the help of your mom, your sisters, your bridesmaids, and anyone else who’s got nice handwriting to plow through them. It’s just one of those polite, personal, I’m-a-great-hostess touches that isn’t totally obvious — unless such touches are absent, in which case they’re glaringly obvious.
Q. Do you put a return address on the wedding invitations?
A. You don’t necessarily have to have one printed on your outer envelopes (that would probably up your invitation costs), but it’s a good idea to handwrite a return address on the back flap. Just in case you get a guest’s address wrong, the post office will know where to return the invitation. The return address should be that of the person whom you’ve designated to receive response cards — be it the bride’s mother, the groom’s mother, or the couple themselves. The response card envelope or postcard should be printed with this address.
The website has even more tips on Wedding Invites!
Most Popular Content
- Angelina Jolie Promotes Salt
- Lindsay Lohan Has Been Sentenced To Jail
- Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant With Baby #2?
- Brian Atwood’s Favorite NYC Haunts
- Megan Fox Shows Off Her New Wedding Ring
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Rock The Salt Premiere!
- Jennifer Aniston Gets Ready To Launch New Perfume
- Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan Tatum Get Romantic In Italy
- Paris Hilton Caught With Drugs!
- The Trailer For The Town Is Here!
- Details of Carrie Underwood’s Wedding Dress!
- Style Star: Kristin Cavallari & Lauren Conrad
- Bachelorette Ali’s Heartbreak Over Frank!
- Inside Jen Aniston’s New Dramatic Relationship!
- I have been watching Paris Hilton's BFF. Where do they get these folks? They're...
- I think Ian and Nina are dating but don't want to make it public. Same as Robst...
- jessi--how do u know he's not dating nina?...
- Whoa. It seemed like only a few weeks back these folks were at each others throa...
- They're not dating, guys even if I would LOVE too. He said recently in an interv...
- dont you think she would be to busy making appearences. to get pregnant and i th...
- hi ian and nina wat r u guys doin if ur not together thats crazy and as well u r...
- hey why are you in jail is it because you smoke and drink to much....
Celebrity Buzz - Jul 20, 2010 9:27 - 0 Comments
Megan Fox Shows Off Her New Wedding Ring
More In Celebrity Buzz
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Rock The Salt Premiere!
- Jennifer Aniston Gets Ready To Launch New Perfume
- Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan Tatum Get Romantic In Italy
- Paris Hilton Caught With Drugs!
- Details of Carrie Underwood’s Wedding Dress!
- Bachelorette Ali’s Heartbreak Over Frank!
- Inside Jen Aniston’s New Dramatic Relationship!
- Carrie Underwood’s First Wedding Pic!
- Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Are Engaged!
- The Ladies of The Hills Say Goodbye
- Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem Get Married!
- Carrie Underwood and her new hubby, Mike Fisher honeymoon in Tahiti!
- Chelsea Handler Has A New Boyfriend!
- Jessica Simpson & Eric Johnson Head To Capri For Her 30th Birthday!
- Angelina Jolie feels sorry for those of you who have never had love
- Megan Fox’s Hawaiian Wedding Pics!
- Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant With Baby #2?
- Bachelorette Jillian, Ed Split!
- Bethenny Frankel Talks About Her Difficult Childhood
- This Girl Never Stops
- Blake Lively Hits Up Paris Fashion Week
- Lindsay Lohan Has Been Sentenced To Jail
- Kate Hudson’s New BF Confirms Romance, Is Meeting Her Mother
- The Kardashians Celebrate The 4th in NYC
- Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Spend The 4th in Malibu
- Jenna Dewan Poses for PETA
- Kendra Wilkinson Prepares For Her Book Release
- Jessica Simpson has a new diet and a new man!
- Katie Holmes To Join GLEE?
- Angelina Jolie Promotes Salt
- First Look: Katie Holmes as Jackie Kennedy
- Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green Tie The Knot!
- Elin & Tiger Unite For Daughter Sam’s Birthday Party
- Jon Gosselin Gets A Heinous New Tattoo
- Jessica Simpson Wants To Get Fit By Her 30th Birthday!
- Angelina Jolie Poses For Vanity Fair
- Jake Pavelka & Ex-Fiance, Vienna Hate Each Other
- Two Desperate Women Become Friends
- Kim Kardashian Has A New Football Beau!
- Nicole Richie Hits Up The Town
- Khloe Kardashian’s Ritsy Gift To Lamar!
- Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Go On A Date
- Sarah Michelle Gellar Brings Baby Charlotte Out In LA
- The Bachelor’s Jake Pavelka Splits With Vienna Girardi
- Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy Call It Quits
- Jennifer Garner May Be Pregnant With Third Child
- Cameron Diaz Is REALLY Promoting Knight and Day
- Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth Take A Late Night Flight
- Megan Fox Is Engaged To Brian Austin Green AGAIN!
- Paris Hilton Is No Longer Single
Fashion & Beauty - Jul 20, 2010 9:36 - 0 Comments
Brian Atwood’s Favorite NYC Haunts
More In Fashion & Beauty
- Style Star: Kristin Cavallari & Lauren Conrad
- Must Have: Halston Heritage Pleated Flower Dress
- Must Have: Brian Atwood Studded Pumps
- Trend Watch: House of Harlow
- Rachel Zoe To Launch Her Own Fashion Line
- Trend Watch: Army Green Pants
- Trend Watch: ROARKE new york Jewelry
- The Best & Worst Dressed At The Tony Awards
- Lea Michele Loves To Try So Hard
- Style Star: Kim Kardashian
- The Cast of SATC2 Come Out To The London Premiere
- Trend Watch: Equipment Sleeveless Silk Tops
- Style Star: Sarah Jessica Parker
- Trend Watch: Mirrored Heels
- Style Star: Evangeline Lilly
- Trend Watch: Robert Rodriguez Necklaces
- Spotlight On Rachel Zoe’s Home Decor
- Jennifer Lopez Works It Out In Cannes
- Style Star: Eva Longoria Parker
- Best Dressed: MET Costume Gala 2010
- Style Star: Scarlett Johansson
- Style Star: Jennifer Lopez
- What’s Hot For Summer: Rompers
- Steal Kim Kardashian’s Style
- Fashion Spotlight: Loren Jewels
- Steal Blair Waldorf’s Style
- Glam Footwear For SXSW
- Style Star: Sarah Jessica Parker
- Style Star: Kate Beckinsale
- Trend Watch: Coral Manicures
- 2010 Oscar Fashion Summary
- Style Star: Olivia Wilde
- The Top Nail Colors For The Season
- Serena and Blair Carry The Longchamp Gatsby Bag On Set
- Style Star: Camilla Belle
- Anne Hathaway’s Fashion Essentials
- All Things Fashion
- Style Star: Sarah Jessica Parker
- Find A Valentine’s Day Dress On A Budget!
- Fashion Obsessions: Trend Scoop
- Fashion’s Finest
- Style Star: Brooklyn Decker
- Obsession of the Moment: Kenneth Jay Lane Bangles
- 2010 Grammy Awards: Best & Worst Dressed
- The Best & Worst Dressed At The SAG Awards
- Obsession of the Moment: House of Harlow Peacock Cuff
- The Golden Globes: Best Dressed
- 2010 Golden Globes
- Marchesa Does Makeup!
- Megan Fox Poses For Armani
Weddings - Jul 14, 2010 9:09 - 0 Comments
LaLa Vazquez & Carmelo Anthony’s Wedding Cake!
More In Weddings
- Wedding Inspiration: Mindy Weiss
- Wedding Reception Decor & Flower Trends For 2010
- Molly Malaney & Jason Mesnick Get Hitched!
- Wedding Reception: 15 Ways To Wow Your Guests
- Who Had The Best Bridal Style Of 2009?
- InStyle Weddings Top 10 Bridesmaid Dresses
- Want Ivanka Trump’s Wedding Jewels?
- Someone Married Ivanka Trump
- Spice Up Your Fall Wedding!
- 10 Ways To Save On Your Reception
- My Fair Wedding With David Tutera
- Wedding Dress Of The Day: Jenna Dewan
- Personalize Your Wedding
- Scott Corridan’s Stylish Wedding Tips!
- Wedding Scoop: 5 Bridal Shower Ideas
- Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan’s First Wedding Photo!
- Wedding Style: Colin Cowie’s Wedding Trends
- Fergie and Josh: First Wedding Pic!
- Fergie & Josh Tie The Knot!
- Fergie and Josh Wedding Details!
- Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson Do Modern Bride
- TomKat Celebrates Two Years
- Wedding Scoop: 10 Rules For Every Bride
- Wedding Scoop: Wedding Favors
- The 10 Most Romantic Weddings
- Wedding of the Day: Ivana Bozilovic and Andrew Firestone
- Wedding Scoop: Choosing Your Perfect Wedding Cake
- Wedding Scoop: More Wedding Trends For 2008
- Wedding Scoop: Dealing With In-Laws
- Wedding Scoop: Platinum Weddings Style
- Wedding Etiquette: Invitations
- More Ellen and Portia Wedding Details
- Ellen and Portia Tie The Knot!!!
- Wedding Scoop: Finding Your Perfect Wedding Cake
- Wedding of the Day: Katherine McPhee and Nick Cokas
- Jewel and Ty Get Married
- Hot Wedding Color Combos
- Jen and John Getting Married?
- Top Centerpiece Trends
- Wedding of the Day: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz
- Wedding Advice from The Knot
- Wedding Of The Day: TomKat
- Mindy Weiss: The Wedding Book
- Wedding Advice: My Non-Engaged Friends Don’t Get It
- I Do. I Did. Now What?
- How To Be A Better Bridesmaid
- To Have A Wedding Website Or Not?
- The Knot: Top Wedding Trends for 2008

Leave a Reply